I’ve Moved to WordPress.org
Posted: February 14, 2012 Filed under: Writing Leave a commentWell, I’ve taken the plunge! After a few months of blogging on WordPress.com, I’ve made the move to WordPress.org. I knew this painful (okay it wasn’t that bad) day would come eventually. It took a while to get everything boxed up, the garage and attic cleaned out, and then sweep up the files before the final move. hehe
With the thoughtful help and encouragement from my super-valuable “tech support” Rosemary Jayne and low-tech-self-esteem bolstering empowerment from Elaine Griffin, we were able to make it happen. And it only took ten or twelve emails across the pond, and five or six tweets to get the instructions to sink in to my smaller-than-average noggin!
Here’s the low-down on the move:
WHERE I WAS: https://mjmonaghan.wordpress.com
WHERE I AM NOW: http://www.mjmonaghan.com
Please help me:
If you subscribed via email, I have been lost to you on your email subscription by the move.
Could you please re-subscribe on the new site? I would greatly appreciate it!
And be sure to stop by at the new place! Don’t forget the house-warming gift. I’m good on toasters, but could use a Kitchen Aid upright blender and fine china!
See you at the new crib, and do let me know what you think of the new surroundings!
Social Media – Twitter and Writing
Posted: February 12, 2012 Filed under: Blogging, Social Media, Writing | Tags: Facebook, Millennium Falcon, novel, Social media, Social Networking, Star Wars, Twitter, wordplay, writing 45 CommentsRemember the scene in Star Wars where Han Solo is trying to escape the bad guys in his Millennium Falcon by putting the ship into hyper-space (I think that’s the right word)? Individual stars are quite visible around them, and then all-of-a-sudden he punches the accelerator-thingy and off they go – stars surrounding the ship, blurring all tunnel-like. Well, that’s what happened to me.
For the last few days, I’ve been immersed – like drinking from a fire hose – in the Twitter universe trying to learn how to use it as a social media tool. I was trapped in that black-hole and have just punched out into hyper-space. Now, out of Twitter-land for a while, here are some important things I’ve learned:
1) Twitter is not at all what I expected. Expectations of another Facebook – the negative side, on steroids – was entirely not true. That was a relief.
2) Twitter is a GREAT place to learn. My intention was to connect with writers and bloggers on Twitter and this was tremendously rewarding. In fact, I felt like the guy who goes to the strange planet in those sci-fi movies, who found the planet so fascinating that he decided to stay on the new-found orb. Woops – the only problem was that I had to come back to reality to well … spend time with MLB, pay bills, feed the dog, eat, etc.
3) People are much friendlier than I had imagined. I have “virtually” met some extraordinarily gracious writers who are so willing to help and encourage other writers, especially noobs like me! I’m sure they don’t get the recognition they deserve for impacting rookie writers/bloggers. So in a small way of honoring them, do check out these links, or Twitter handles, to some terrific writer-mentors:
Christine Nolfi Christine Nolfi @christinenolfi on Twitter
Kait Nolan Kait Nolan
Kristen Lamb’s Blog Kristen Lamb
Writer Unboxed Therese Walsh & Kathleen Bolton
Wordbitches The dynamic trio of Leanne Shirtliffe, Elena Aitken, and Trish Loye Elliott
Melissa Foster Melissa Foster @Melissa_Foster on Twitter
GIRLS WITH PENS March Kennedy & Lisa Hall-Wilson
Writing on the Wall Lynette Labelle
Call Me Bookish Kelley Lane @Call_Me_Bookish on Twitter
Wordplay KM Weiland @KMWeiland on Twitter
Write Up My Life Julie Hedlund
In an upcoming post, I’m going to go into what I learned about hashtags – those “#” symbols that you see on Twitter all the time. For now, I must get back to my new-found orb – Twitter whispers softly in my ear, “Come back, my friend. Come back.” hehehe
Have you made the leap to Twitter yet? If so, has it totally sucked you in like it has me?
Humor – How to Be Funny, Like Jim
Posted: February 8, 2012 Filed under: Blogging, Humor, Writing | Tags: Comedy, Funny, Guest post, Humor, Madonna, People Magazine, Super Bowl, Wordslinger 32 Comments
Since Madonna performed at the halftime show at the Super Bowl this past weekend, it seems so appropriate to use one of the “Material Girl’s” references: Today, MJ Monaghan, will be “touched for the very first time” – okay, people, I’m talking about the blog, not me! – by a guest blogger.
This is an exciting, and groundbreaking moment for us here at “MJ.” We have none other than James Chaney of The Wordslinger (one of the coolest blog names, EVER). Jim and I met on the ever-so-helpful Facebook blogging page, “We Blog … A Blogging Community” (see badge to the right of my sidebar for info). He has a quirky sense of humor – like yours truly – except he’s actually funny! Do check out his blog, you’ll be regaled by is storytelling – about life in general, his take on parenting, or about sports. Oh yeah, and in his spare time he’s writing a book!
Without further ado, please welcome THE WORDSLINGER, Mr. James Chaney:
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Growing up, I always wanted to be “the funny one” in a group of people. I’m not sure how or why this goal developed; though it likely stemmed from my inability to find a girl who liked me. I entered my middle school years with an undersized physique and an oversized schnozz, so to use a baseball analogy; I was behind in the count early. As cliques began to form faster than the pimples on a pre-teen, I knew I had to insinuate myself into a group quickly before all the funny guy openings were filled.
My experience with being humorous had, to this point, been limited to reciting a joke my father told me as a child.
“Where do generals keep their armies?” I’d begin with a sly grin on my face. “In their sleevies.”
A classic quip if ever there was one, wouldn’t you agree? Anyway, I had no time to learn how to be funny as there were undoubtedly other jokesters waiting in the wings to take my spot in the group. So I did what any young buck would do in my position, I faked it. I tried several different approaches in my attempt to prove my comical genius to the crowd.
My initial plan was to simply laugh at everything. I figured that by laughing at things that no one else seemed to find amusing, I would be perceived as having a superior humor-sensing radar and supreme knowledge of all things ha-ha. In retrospect, I may have overestimated my popularity and powers of persuasion. Instead of leading the group like the Pied Piper of hilarity, I received mostly glares of confusion and questions about my mental capacity.
Next I tried saving my laughs as if they were quarters in a piggy bank, and only giving them out when the comedic stars were perfectly aligned. Unfortunately, this strategy was foiled before it even got off the ground since it came on the heels of my “laugh at everything” plan. Now, instead of being “the funny guy”, I was being referred to as “the bi-polar guy”. Not exactly what I was going for.
Through some extensive trial and error, I eventually found my niche in the comedic department. As I got older my sense of humor developed, which helped me greatly in social situations since my looks didn’t exactly follow suit. At 5’7” and a depression-triggered eating binge shy of 130lbs, not to mention the aforementioned Pinocchio-esque beak, I certainly wasn’t destined to win “Most likely to be featured in People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive Issue”. I’m sure my soon-to-be therapist will refer to my quick wit and sometimes snarky comments as “a defense mechanism”, but to him I’ll say, “insert snarky comment here.”
When I look back at those middle and high school years, I can’t help but think how much simpler my life would have been, had the internet been bustling like it is today. I mean a simple Google search for “How to be funny” yields over 100 million results! There are step by step instructions, visual aids, even videos to demonstrate how best to be funny. Perhaps if these services were available to me, I would have succeeded must faster in my goal, as well as received less attention from counselors and the man with the comfy couch whom my parents insisted I visit weekly.
After perusing some of the helpful guides out there, I think I’ve added a few new arrows to my quiver of quips. If you’d like, I’ll share a few nuggets of wisdom with you right now. You would? Excellent; here we go:
Be uber attractive or insanely wealthy: From what I’ve been able to gather from Wikipedia and other extremely reliable sources, your level of comedic genius can be directly influenced by your looks or bankroll. If you are a super model, famous actor, heir to a fortune, or Oprah, people will find everything you say to be hilarious. If I were going to give one piece of advice to someone trying to be funny, it would be to make sure you are good looking and/or rich.
Get a prop and keep it with you all the time: I’ve noticed that many “how to be funny” lists indicate that being known for a prop is a good way for people to know you are funny. As someone constantly on the lookout for funny people, so as not to be blindsided by a potential humor duel, I find this tip extremely helpful. When in a crowded room with people I’ve never met, it’s good to know that the guy holding the rubber chicken is my comedic adversary.
Work on some impressions: People love impressions. I once did an impression of a guy I knew in high school that was so dead on, my audience was left speechless. Yep, no one made a peep. I’m pretty much an expert on impressions so let me give you a piece of advice. Impersonate people that no one else knows. It’s always worked for me. Every time I do an impression, all I hear are crickets. I’m telling you, the sign of a great impression is a silent audience.
Show videos of people doing stupid things: One of the great joys of the internet is watching videos of people doing stupid things. Today, there are “comedians” that have developed entire routines around showing these videos and commenting on them. This is a comedic gold mine. The videos speak for themselves, so all you really need to do is add an “ooohhh! That’s gotta hurt!” or “Yikes, that’ll leave a mark!” every now and again, and sit back and enjoy the laughter.
So there you have it. A few drops of knowledge to help your funny flower grow, from an expert in the field of farce. At least that’s what I intend to write on my Wikipedia page.
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Hope you enjoyed Jim’s slice-of-life on being funny. Do check him out; he may end up being bigger than Bollywood film actor and superstar Rajinikanth, and you’ll really regret not jumping on his bandwagon.
And as always, your comments are very welcome. Share with The Wordslinger how much you thoroughly enjoyed his post!
THE STREAK – in Jeopardy!
Posted: February 4, 2012 Filed under: Blogging, Family, Life, Writing | Tags: beach, DEVO, Headache, Martha Quinn, Migraine, MTV, raiders, Ronald Reagan, video 56 CommentsIt started with humble beginnings, in the summer of 1981. No, not the Ray Stevens song – The Streak (1974), about running naked! This is a streak of different colors.
In August, 1981, Ronald Reagan was President, Raiders of the Lost Ark took the box office at the movies, and a cultural phenomenon launched on television – MTV.
MTV premiered on August 1st. My favorite VJ was Martha Quinn – just in case you were wondering – and she was as cute as a button. “Video Killed the Radio Star” by The Buggles (you know the song, but The Buggles??), DEVO was “Whip”-ing it, Kim Carnes had “Bette Davis Eyes“, and Blondie was in “Rapture.” We all immediately loved “… our MTV.”
But while my summer was going strong, along came something called the flu. Yep, in August of 1981, I contracted a version of the flu that put me down for days. For someone who didn’t miss school or work, this was unfamiliar territory.
I hugged the beauty of that porcelain fixture like a child’s teddy bear. We embraced often, and I gladly donated my sweat, tears, and what little food I was able to keep down. Warm washcloths became my friends – dabbing at my crusted-up mouth and nose with a welcomed tenderness.
It was the last time I would be so close to the ground in this capacity … until last weekend.
THIRTY-ONE YEARS LATER
It was a typical, sunny southern California day – the temperature a perfect 74 deg Fahrenheit. Because it was a Saturday in late January (the 28th, to be exact) traffic was fairly light.
While MLB was at a work meeting in Mission Bay, I was “forced” to tour the beach towns of Mission Beach, Pacific Beach, La Jolla, Del Mar, Solana Beach, Cardiff-By-The-Sea, Encinitas, Leucadia, and Carlsbad scouting for a potential place where we might want to live in the not-too-distant-future. Rough duty, I know, but someone had to do it.
It was idyllic, passing beach towns with quaint boutiques, checking out glimpses of the ocean, and taking in the breezy SoCal air. As I was enjoying the day, a pesky headache began. It started as just a simple dull pain and gradually worked its way to throbbing.
Was it something I ate? The bright sunlight from the southern part of the state compared to our northern California environs? Perhaps allergens from different plants or trees? I wasn’t sure, but it was time to go back to the hotel, take something for the pain, and get something to eat before picking up MLB at the prearranged meeting time of 8:30 pm.
As I entered the room, the pulsing blood was pressuring my head to the point it must have looked like Arnold’s in Total Recall:
Frantically, I looked through MLB’s cosmetic bag – nothing. She apparently had the Tylenol and ibuprofen in her purse … with her; the two things that might have been able to bring me back from what was sure to be a painful death-by-headache.
To all migraine-sufferers everywhere, my sincerest apologies. I had NEVER had a headache this severe in my life. I tried sitting down – no help. I lay down on the bed – the pain increased about five-fold.
By now, the pain had gone from “Total Recall” to complete exploding-head madness:
I called the front desk.
“Do you have Tylenol, or anything for a headache?”
“No, but you there is a CVS drug store across the street.”
At this point, I was willing to do just about anything. I traipsed out into the night and stumbled across the street and picked up the generic Headache Relief – a cocktail of acetaminophen, aspirin, and about 900 mg of caffeine (okay, maybe 50 mg of caffeine). Without thinking – why not pick up 275 tablets? – I got the biggest bottle I could find. Maybe I needed all of them to knock this sucker out of my head!
Not that I was in a hurry, but while standing in line I broke open the bottle of headache pills, opened a Diet Pepsi (God’s drink!), and sought immediate relief.
WILL “THE STREAK” END?
Back at the hotel, the time is now 7:15 pm. I go back to pacing the floor, punching my head, praying for forgiveness for the sins I did, and didn’t, commit, begging for mercy, hoping for the pain to subside. Frantically, I sit at the desk. You know it’s terrible, when … I can’t even look at the laptop to check out blogs, or write a post about this experience!
I moved from the desk to the bed. I’m stretched out on my side, but the throbbing is now worse than ever before. I’m pummeling my head into the pillow – a noggin-battering-ram; hoping it will beat the pain senseless.
Oh NOOOOOOOO! Suddenly I become nauseous. This is an experience I’ve only had a handful of times since the streak started 31 years ago. I reflect back to those MTV-laden days as Martha Quinn introduces the latest video in my mind. And I think, for the first time since 1981 … even if the streak ends, if it will take away this pain, I’m willing to do it.
I go to the bathroom and drop down on the floor – arms embracing the porcelain, like days of old. Stomach is queasy, but not quite past that “tipping point,” thankfully. It subsides, and the streak passes its most daunting challenge in those three plus decades.
Back to the bed I go. Now on my hands and knees with my head buried in the pillow, I press against my head repeatedly until … the phone rings. It’s 8:45 and MLB is wondering where I am. Peaceful sleep must have descended upon my blown-up head and the pain was now half of where it had been on the pain-Richter-scale.
EPILOGUE
As I picked up my wife, I tried to explain what had happened. I went on-and-on about the pain, the possible ending of “The Streak,” and how no one could have ever had that kind of headache before in human history. As I continued to describe the events, she remained patient and understanding. Finally, my droning must have gone a bit too far.
She exclaimed, “I get it … you had a HEADACHE!”
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Have you ever had this kind of headache before? If so, what did you do to alleviate the pain?
I need to know, in case there’s a “next time!” 🙂
Social Media – Obsessed – Top Ten
Posted: January 31, 2012 Filed under: Blogging, Humor, Social Media | Tags: Facebook, Google, IPad, IPhone, Pinterest, Social media, StumbleUpon, Twitter 89 Comments
Okay, some of us may be taking the whole social media thing too far. We have our blog(s), Twitter, StumbleUpon, Facebook, Google+, Tumblr, Pinterest, and of course email accounts; and these are just the ones that readily come to mind!
With all the time and focus spent “connecting” with others on our desktops, laptops, iPhones, Androids, iPads, Kindles, etc. we have to force ourselves to make time for life – hehehe! Much like Jeff Foxworthy‘s “You might be a redneck if …” I present my take on:
You might be obsessed with social media if …
10. You start a joke with, “So this blogger walks into a bar …”
9. On vacation in the Virgin Islands (wishful thinking on my part), you say to your family, “You guys run along to the beach, I just have to get this post published really quick.”
8. You try to limit your side of a conversation to 140 words or less like you do on Twitter.
7. Whenever you meet someone new, you introduce yourself as “@mjmonaghan_”
*insert your own name there*
6. While out shopping, you spot a great gadget or design and promptly state, “I need to take a picture of that and pin it to my Pinterest pinboard.”
5. When your definition of “+1” is not bringing someone with you to an event or party, but rather adding someone to your Google+ account.
4. You’re frequently heard saying, “Did I tell you about the post I read on …”
*fill in just about ANY subject*
3. Someone in your family screams for the tenth time, “It’s time for you to come out of the virtual world, and back into real life. We have things that have to get done!”
2. In the middle of an important “talk” with your significant other, you throw out the dreaded, “Can we talk AFTER I finish commenting on a few blogs?”
and the #1 reason you might be obsessed with social media:
1. As you’re about to leave the house, you holler, “Okay Tweeps, let’s go, we’re gonna be late!”
Okay, my sarcastic friends – you know who you are – what are some of your comments that you have said, or had said to you about your obsession with social media?
Sticks and Stones
Posted: January 26, 2012 Filed under: Blogging, Life, Writing | Tags: bully, depression, encourage, Gay, Golf, homosexual, rage, slurs 97 CommentsWarning: This is not my usual post. A recent event occurred in our community, and I wanted to share my semi-fictionalized account.
“He’s just trailer-trash.”
“You are such a bimbo!”
“That’s retarded.”
Haole. Uncle Tom. Jap. Honky. Mick. Hymie. Poon. Spic. Rag-head.
“That’s so gay!”
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The golf ball shot off the tee and veered sharply to the left, heading straight toward the posh homes parallel to the fairway.
Inanimate objects don’t know where they’re going, nor where they’ll stop. The tiny ball’s path would eventually bring it through the Murray’s family room window and fatefully come to rest at the bottom of the body. Cold and lifeless, 18 year-old Benson Murray hung from the rope attached to the second-story landing, overlooking the great room with a golf-course view and now shattered picture-window.
He left no note, but had spent many years battling depression. Some of it coming from the taunts and harassment for being homosexual. Just two years earlier, as he went outside to go to work, he had to face derogatory epithets spray-painted on his car and driveway. Most likely from kids he passed in the hallways every day at his suburban high school:
“Gay.”
“C—sucker.”
“Queen.”
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“… but names will never hurt me.”
I’m not a soap-box person so I won’t belabor the point. Our culture seems to have turned from common-sense manners – most of the time – to rudeness, rage, and attacks on each other. The consequences can be devastating and can lead to alcohol abuse, chemical dependency, depression, self-mutilation, and possibly even suicide.
“Catch your breath,
Hit the wall,
Scream out loud,
As you start to crawl
Back in your cage
The only place
Where they will
Leave you alone.
‘Cause the weak will
Seek the weaker til they’ve broken them.”
Simon, from the group Lifehouse
How do we treat others – stereotype, build up, tear down?
What is our influence on those around us – family, friends, students, co-workers, etc?
12 Provocative Song Lyrics
Posted: January 23, 2012 Filed under: Blogging, Humor, Music, Writing | Tags: 50 Cent, Buffett, Chuck Berry, Lil Wayne, Lyrics, Madonna, Marvin Gaye, Mick Jagger, Provocative, Rolling Stones 91 CommentsThis post is rated:
Music has stimulated our creativity, enhanced our ability to learn, inspired us to do great things, and in some cases given our bodies something to move and groove to. Song lyrics have given artists an opportunity to push the boundaries of sexuality. This phenomenon has been occurring since at least the early 1930’s (And no, thank you very much, I don’t remember that far back!).
Through my crack-research-team – do not confuse this with my team researching crack use, however – we have compiled a list of twelve songs with lyrics that were, and may still be, considered titillating.
Now I fully expect some double entendre comments, you know who you are – in particular Mikalee (Me 2.0) and Leanne (ironicmom) – and welcome your interpretation, memories, and additions to our “research.”
Song name is listed first, then artist, year of the song, and how many weeks on the US Billboard Charts:
12. Why Don’t We Get Drunk, Jimmy Buffett, 1973, never on the charts
Before Jimmy got all “Margarittaville” on us, he came out with this novelty song that got a lot of jukebox airplay, but never hit the charts. Can still be heard in bars and clubs.
11. Squeezebox – The Who, 1975, peaked at #16
The song was really about an accordion, right?? Plus, how could you resist the hot 70’s outfits?
10. My Ding-a-Ling, Chuck Berry, 1972, #1 for one week
I’m not sure what that title means. Ringing phone? Calling Mr. Ling? Whatever it means, he loved to play with it … according to the song.
9. Afternoon Delight, Starland Vocal Band, 1976, #1 for two weeks
How could a band not be hugely popular with decapitated “head-shots” on their album cover? And I thought Afternoon Delight meant taking a nap!
8. Let’s Get It On, Marvin Gaye, 1973, #1 for two weeks
So very smooth! Marvin put the soul into romantic, groove music. Still one of the best ever! Reminds me a LOT of me … except he can sing and he was cool. 🙂
7. Lollipop, Lil Wayne, 2008, #1 for four weeks
Who says you can’t have a mouth full of chrome teeth and still get your sexy on? Could it be Weezy’s version of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
6. Honky Tonk Women, The Rolling Stones, 1969, #1 for four weeks
Fantastic song with a lead singer who dances like a chicken. That has to be sexy! The incomparable Mick Jagger and his band that brought us “Satisfaction.”
5. Like a Virgin – Madonna, 1984, #1 for six weeks
Groundbreaking edginess for it’s time. This is a picture from my wallet that Madonna sent me when she loved me back in the 80’s. Really … it seriously could have happened! I asked her to tone down the underwear look and she ditched me. Her loss, MLB’s gain!
4. Tonight’s The Night – Rod Stewart, 1976, #1 for eight weeks
Great song! And I’ve been looking for that same, sweet-looking Speedo for years! Britt Ekland was either mad for the hair or the skimpy swim threads! Tonight must have been their night when that pic was taken. Be glad I didn’t put this in the post at full size! Eww … sorry, I just feel a little dirty now.
3. Candy Shop, 2005, 50 Cent feat. Olivia, 2005, #1 for nine weeks
Dapper rapper, 50 Cent, with Olivia, spins this song that is decidedly NOT about buying Hershey’s or Willy Wonka candy. Sorry ladies, no shirt-off Fifty in this post!
2. Physical – Olivia Newton John, 1981, #1 for ten weeks
How steamy is a unitard with a diaper at the crotch, and leg warmers? Pretty darn spicy … if it’s the 80’s! Twist a little matching white cotton for a headband, and voila – you’re talking UBER-SEXY!! What woman didn’t want to be Olivia back then? And how many guys had posters of her? Maybe I did …
1. I’ll Make Love To You, Boyz II Men, 1994, #1 for 14 weeks
According to Billboard Magazine, this trio – who creatively used not one, but two Roman numerals in their name – is the most successful group of the 90’s. The song title says it all; can’t add anything to that. I guess they thought, “Let’s just cut to the chase.” It worked for 14 weeks atop the Billboard Charts – not bad for three guys from Philly!
Okay, you’re saying, “Hey what about fill in the blank with song name??
Lay it on me – figuratively, please! Share what songs you think should have been in my list, or how you feel about the songs above.
Top 10 Blog Quotes (From Women)
Posted: January 20, 2012 Filed under: Blogging, Humor, wisdom, Writing | Tags: Andra Watkins, August McLaughlin, Blog, Humor, Leanne Shirtliffe, Little Women, Maineiac, NYC, Vegan 94 CommentsThe best part about blogging is reading great posts by so many excellent writers. I’ve been jotting down some of my favorites over the last few months and wanted to share them in a dedicated post.
My Top 10 is in no particular order, nor is it a complete list of the blogs I love to read (my RSS reader has over 250 blogs and counting). These ten women are some of the finest writers, bloggers, humorists, or foodies that I’ve read recently.
Give them a click, if you haven’t already:
10. She’s a Maineiac
Darla, or D-Woww, as she’s known in NYC nightclubs (I actually made up the NYC nightclub part :)), is one of the funniest, sweetest bloggers out there. Penning humorous observations about raising kids. Great stories.
Quote: “Time Management Able to flip pancakes, clean ketchup off ceiling, figure out an algebraic equation, unclog toilet filled with Polly Pockets, do 10 loads of laundry, drive kids to various practices, classes and play dates all at the same time.”
9. Leanne Shirtliffe – ironicmom
Another, very funny writer who chronicles her twins, Thing 1 and Thing 2, as well as her observations about life in general. Great humorist.
Quote: “DON’T use duct tape to fix the hem on your pants. Duct tape was invented to make ammo cases waterproof in World War 2. If you’re going to use it on your wardrobe, you’d better be packing heat.”
Yes, she has a month named after her! August writes on nutrition and making good lifestyle choices. This quote is taken from a recent post on her eating disorder; a must read!
Quote: “I awoke later, lying in the grassy cradle, the taste of blood and dirt in my mouth. Rather than wonder how long I’d been there or if I’d been hurt, one thought filled me with terror: Does dirt have calories?”
Cara has one of the best blogs on food, even if it is Vegan! So much fun to see what great treat she has whipped up, and the words to go with the amazing photos are like poetry!
Quote: “But once I arrived at Anthropologie (which by the way, if God is a woman and wears clothes, She so would shop here, I’m convinced) …”
6. The Accidental Cootchie Mama
I’m always amazed at Andra’s use of words to so aptly describe anything she’s writing about. From a poignant tribute to her husband to writing PG-rated posts with old porn movie titles – yep, you heard that right! – she is a marvel with the English language.
Quote: “Every day with you is another package to be unwrapped. Savored. You are my favorite person, the one who takes the raw edges and colors them, untangles them, unites them in a way I could never envision on my own.”
I recently discovered Patricia’s blog. What a talented writer who brings her memories, good and bad, into her posts. Well worth a visit.
Quote: “The 1960′s – my 1960′s – were coloured in lime-green paisleys and denim-blue. I didn’t grow up in an episode of Leave It To Beaver but more like Little Women directed by Alfred Hitchcock and I am always Jo.”
If you haven’t read anything by Tori, you might want to stumble over there in your Snuggie, with cup of Joe in hand, and spend some time laughing through your nose! Flat-out-funny!
Quote: “As the old adage goes, “Don’t stop ’til you get enough”, and pretty soon my tapping toes and hair-flipping ruckus could not be caged. Energy aimed for a brilliant blog entry recalculated, took a left to Funky Town, and weaved willy-nilly across lanes and through red lights until I forgot that my sole purpose in waking this morning was not, in fact, to bring sexy back.”
3. The Heartbreak of Invention
A writer’s writer, Patrice crafts word and emotion – seamlessly. You walk away from one of her posts sweating with discomfort on the one hand, and feeling like you just witnessed the release of a heart-heavy burden. Cathartic!
Quote: “I sometimes wonder, outside of transcending oneself, where exactly does an earthbound creature find her peace? Where does she encounter the courage to continue with this beautiful yet doubt-filled contraption of a life, this only life she truly knows, this only life that is truly hers? Where will she be kindly escorted, time and time again, back to the battered entrance of herself?”
Full of interesting observations – on life, a pet, or maybe a child, Terri has a knack for taking you on her journey with an ease of familiarity. I Love reading her stories.
Quote: “I wanted to run after her, grab her by the curls and throw her down on the pavement. I wanted to poke the heel of my boot into her chest as she lay on the ground and ask her who she thought she was. I wanted to ask her who writes a check for five dollars worth of potato chips anyway? I wanted to ask her if it had occurred to her that all she had accomplished was humiliating a poor high-school girl.”
1. Me 2.0
Not sure where to begin with Mikalee. Such a talented, funny writer. Insightful, interesting, but never irreverent or sarcastic! 🙂 I could have pulled any random sentence(s), but settled on her “About …” for this post.
Quote: “About Mikalee Byerman How can a sometimes bitter, definitely jaded, no longer trusting, blindsided ex-wife still believe in happy endings? (not that kind of happy endings…sheesh, people…) By channeling her scary internal dialogue through a controversial blog/future book, swearing like a drunken sailor and spending all her spare time focused on helping other people heal.”
Have you read any of the blogs above? Any comments you’d like to share about these talented writers?
I changed the title by adding (from Women) because the men were feeling left out. Future post from Men coming in the near future. No slight intended, guys!
Valentine’s Card – 6 Special Options
Posted: January 18, 2012 Filed under: Family, Life | Tags: Card, Gothic, heart, NASCAR, NCIS, Valentine, Valentine Day, Valentines Day, vintage 77 CommentsValentine’s Day is right around the corner! So we’d better prepare for it much like the marketeers do for Christmas; get you thinking about this most-romantic-of-all-holidays well in advance.
(momlogic.com)
Instead of the usual gift ideas, let’s turn our attention to the tried and true Valentine’s Day card.
With a little twist, here are a few unique choices that you may not have considered:
1. Sarcastic Valentine
What says “I love you” more than the chomp of biting sarcasm. Disclaimer: You might think twice about this if your partner doesn’t share your sense of humor!
(www.meish.org)
2. Romantic Valentine
Set the mood with a serious card devoted to wooing your Valentine off his or her feet and into a more emotional connection. This could be a home run for you romantic types.
(3.bp.blogspot.com)
3. Goth Valentine
Perhaps you and your sweetheart are a bit on the dark, macabre side of things. You both love everything Tim Burton has ever done; and Abby from NCIS is one of your heroes. Here’s one for you.
(magickalgraphics.com)
4. NASCAR Valentine
Well you may not be a Carl Edwards fan, but you love seeing those cars go ’round in circles! Love is a wrench-turning, wheel-spinning adventure for you. How about the NASCAR Valentine?
(cdn.allleftturns.com)
5. Superhero Valentine
For the significant other who seemingly gets everything done, makes origami out of chaos, and still manages to put on clean clothes everyday, this might be what you’re looking for.
(valentinegifts2012.com)
6. Vintage Valentine
Lastly, perhaps you yearn for a simpler time. A vintage, or retro, card is just what you need to soothe your 2012 heart and take you back to the ’30’s or ’40’s.
(designinterviews.com)
Assuming you will give a Valentine’s card, which one of these fine card types would you choose for your special Valentine?
I Had A Dream … Too!
Posted: January 17, 2012 Filed under: Humor, Lifestyle, Writing | Tags: Alfie, Dream, garage, High jump, interpretation, Javier Sotomayor, Martin Luther King, Mechanic, nightmare, Psychology 51 CommentsNo, seriously, “I” had a dream. I mean no disrespect to Martin Luther King, Jr. He was, and still is, one of my greatest heroes. So the fact that, 1) I had a dream that I actually remembered, and 2) had this dream on MLK day – well, MLK day … night, actually – seemed astonishing, and well, a bit ironic.
Dreams can be a fuzzy thing. A misty fog that makes it hard to see clearly; especially when you’re in the middle of the dream. This one was not like that. There was a clarity that I rarely have in the dream-world.
The setting is an industrial site in an outlying area of a nondescript city (is it nondescript, if I’m describing it??). There’s an auto garage, and behind this service station is …
A high jump standard and landing pads.
Of course, this is something one sees EVERY day in the waking world:
Your friendly mechanic with a high jump area behind his garage!
In this other-world, I’m competing in an intense sporting match – of course, wearing jeans and my trademark white t-shirt. You have your “little black dress,” I have my “extra-large-white-t-shirt!”
Mind you, the WORLD RECORD for men’s high jump is 8 feet. An incredible mark set by Javier Sotomayor of Cuba in 1993. That is … until last night when I broke the standard with an absolute, record-shattering 11 feet!! Two exclamation points are required because it’s so mind-blowing to surpass the previous high by an astounding 3 FEET!
I say this for honesty’s-sake: It actually took two previous attempts (both misses), before I finally stepped up and glided smoothly over the bar. You didn’t think I could clear 11′ on the first try, did you??
I’m thinking it looked something like this (in my mind, anyway):
Yep, that’s exactly how my legs look – all chiselled from my years of high jumping. Well, maybe not quite as muscular as that. Probably a little more like this:
So, what’s-this-all-about-Alfie? This crazy high jump dream. Setting some unattainable record? Having such a clear reverie; on MLK day, no less?
Any dream interpreters out there? Would love to hear any guesses as to why this vagary!
mj monaghan 